I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
