she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
