she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got inside last night via doggy door
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
