you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
