you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
