Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
