Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
nutella sex= disaster
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
