I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
