There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
