I met the friendliest cop last night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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