i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
