The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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