I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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