Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
