Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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