I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
