I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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