The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize