If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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