so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize