I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
