we're blogging at a bar
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
