I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
