we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
