this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
