that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
operation have a gay friend backfired
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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