Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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