Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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