she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I cut my penus on the lid.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm at about main and main street
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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