I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize