If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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