Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
