Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
