Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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