Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
