Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
