I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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