his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
