you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
