HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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