there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
