im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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