drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
