Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
