Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
