I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
