Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
