none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Drunk is a universal language darling
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