It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
