I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
