i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
