that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
