if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize