All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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