If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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