a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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