Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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