I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
