Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
