You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
