She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
